whatsa papsy mear?

I think it's time to confess to you all that I have a super power. Yes, it's true... I have the power to get my kids' attention whenever I want it, no matter how many veggie straws they have crammed into their mouths, or how enraptured they may be in Blue's Clues. It's really quite simple, really, and most mommies (and daddies) that I know also possess this power. All we need to do to get their undivided attention is suddenly become busy with something else.

Try it out. Wait until your kids are halfway through their favorite tv show, mouths hanging slightly open, eyes glazed over. Then take out a pen and a pad of paper. Start making a list. It can be anything really, but the more important, the better. It can be ingredients for the cookies your grandma used to make you, or things you need to get done before the winter weather kicks in. As long as it requires you to be able to THINK, then it'll work. Within thirty seconds you will have at least one child trying to get you to draw them a picture with that pen, or needing to go potty NOW, or whatever else they can think of (time is of the essence, of course).

Unfortunately, this isn't something that can be controlled. For example, try scheduling a pap smear with a three year old in the room. If you've ever thought your kids didn't care about what's going on in your life, this will prove you wrong. Between answering questions from the nurse and fumbling around in your purse for your insurance card, you will also be required to answer the following questions: whoya talkin to? are they commin to play? do I get to go along? whatsa papsy mear? is it lunchtime yet? whoya talkin to? etc.

Another powerful tool to ensure 100% of your child's attention is a closed door. How many topics of conversation can your toddler get through while you pee? or try to shave your legs? Putting a barrier between yourself and your child guarantees they will become a chatterbox, at least for that period of time, and especially if there's another noise involved that requires everyone to speak more loudly (the shower running, or a hair dryer). The harder it is for you to hear each other, the more urgently they will need to speak with you about the Lego that's stuck under the couch or what they really REALLY want to go get at the toy store.

OK, so maybe it isn't a super power.

Any guesses how long it took me to write this blog, and how many children were involved?

Wrong. The boy is napping.